Noah(2014)

Let me make it clear from the beginning, I do not care if a movie like this is 100% true to the bible and I could not care less about the creationist fanatics moaning about how this and that movie is telling the wrong story or is distorting their religion. But this attempt to re-tell the story is just bad.

The first half of the movie is not all bad. It is actually somewhat enjoyable. The dark scenery is sometimes depressing and beautiful at the same time. I did like the watchers. It added a bit of extra to the movie and the fight when Tubal-Cain tried to capture the ark was not bad at all.

However, then it went downhill quickly with Noah going more and more nuts and Tubal-Cain, having survived, is subverting Noah’s son Ham. Not that Noah did not really bring that upon himself to some extent though. The parts where Noah want to kill his grandchildren and stops in the last minute is just Hollywood soap-opera bullshit. Also, do not get me started about the ridiculous scene where Anthony Hopkins goes berry hunting like some mental retard.

Up until about half the movie I did not really understand all the very negative reviews but after having watched through the miserable last half I have to say that I do understand them more. I think the one-star ones are a bit harsh since the movie is often quite beautiful and the acting, despite the crappy script, is quite good, but the lousy script is just destroying the movie.

Definitely a disappointment.